No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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