I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ugly people sure do ruin things
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
