woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.