I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
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You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
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He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?