Me too!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
