I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
