Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
this hospital has no fireball
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
