It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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