So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
