Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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