At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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