Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
