please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
And then he peed in my hair
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