; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
kristin has been a bad kristin
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
