just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
