He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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