There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
