Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
