yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
