Dual....:-)
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
