SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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