i love accidental penises.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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