Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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