And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
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I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
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i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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