I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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