can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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