Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight