I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.