Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day