Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I think I sprained my soul last night
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
