He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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