and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I understand Curling. That high.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
