my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
