If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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