Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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