just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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