Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize