Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
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You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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