I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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