FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We left the knife in your bed.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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