In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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