I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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