She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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