I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
