On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
