I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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