It's like God shit irony all over that family
I looked at my own cervix.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
