I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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