forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
well you can't waste a boner
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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