I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
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i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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