So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
