i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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