You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
