Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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