weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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