I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
