I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Ladies don't puke and tell
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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