D3 body, D1 cock
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
