I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
