shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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