How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
