I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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