My boss' voice literally gives me gas
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The Olympian is in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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