Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
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The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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