i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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