I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
