i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
