if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize