why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
