I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
